The Lover After Me
by Dramaphile
Summary: I loved her. I really did. God, why do I always have to screw things up so badly when they finally start getting good?
1. Leaving

The Lover After Me  
By Karyn/Drama  
Rated PG-13  
Categories: story, Mulder POV, MSR, Angst  
Disclaimer: not mine, not mine, not mine. *sigh* when will the rejection end!  
Notes: Okay, I actually finished a fic!! In a day! I'm losing it, I really am. I promised myself I'd never, ever write a song story and this is only really a semi song story. It was inspired by a really beautiful and sad song by Savage garden , the lover after me. Well, just read it!  
  
The lover after me  
By Karyn/Drama  
  
I loved her. I really did. God, why do I always have to screw things up so badly when they finally start getting good?   
We had this one absolutely amazing night and I realized then how I felt. It was all so simple that night. But I realized what it all meant and it scared me out of my mind. My whole life flashed before my eyes when i realized the consequences of what we were doing. It was too dangerous, they'd try to separate us, use us against each other. Being together was a whole new weakness. One we couldn't afford. I was afraid for my life, but more so I was afraid for _her_ life.  
I lay there in the dark, listening to her soft breathing and my mind worked like mad. What if...? What if...? I kept coming up with these frightening scenarios in my head. I couldn't stay. It would just get worse from here, I told myself.   
I carefully untangled myself from her body and put on my clothes. The sun was starting to rise in the early morning and it glinted off her auburn locks, splayed on the pillow like the petals of a sunflower. I'll always remember that one little moment in time, like a photograph of love. Her lying on her stomach, clutching a pillow. She looked so peaceful, a slight smile on her lips, her cheeks flushed and her hair tousled from my hands. It took all my willpower not to run back to her at that very instant. I finished dressing and turned towards the door, not looking back. I had no other choice.   
She called me four times that day.   
"Mulder, it's me. We need to talk about what happened"  
"Mulder, please just call me"   
I sat there silently as I heard her plead to my answering machine. I had no choice. It became my mantra, the only reason I didn't turn right back into her arms. I went out running after the third call, to try and clear my head, but it just made it worse. Everything I passed had memories attached to it. Memories of her. I had no choice, I told myself again and again.  
Monday morning was excruciating. She walked into the office pissed to say the least.  
"Mulder, we're going to talk." It was a no-nonsense command. I really hated those  
'I'm sorry, Scully. It was a mistake. Let's just forget about it." I tried my best to keep my voice level, afraid of betraying my words.  
"Why couldn't you have told me that before we...? God, Mulder, I can't believe you!"  
"Look, I'm sorry, but it was a mistake, okay. Let's just get to work and-"  
"That's it? Let's get to work? Pretend it never happened? It's not that easy, Mulder. Nothing's that easy, especially this. I though you of all people would know that. I guess I don't know you after all."  
She put on her professional mask and shut me out all day. Barely a word was spoken unless she absolutely had to and she retracted every time I got close or touched her. it was like she tore my heart out of my chest and dissected it right before while I watched.   
The next day, she turned in her resignation and my world fell apart. She hung up on when I called, ignored my messages and refused to make eye contact when we by chance passed in the hall. I was hurt, I was crushed and my very soul felt like it was being ripped out, so I did the sensible thing: I threw myself straight into someone else's arms.  
Jenna was cute. Not too heavy in the brains department, but definitely cute, and she liked me quite a bit. Wasn't too bad in bed either, not that I really noticed. When we were together, all I could think of was Scully, her lips, not Jenna's, her hands, her body, her love. Jenna was just the vessel.   
We had a good thing going, I guess, but Jenna finally figured out my heart could never be hers totally and left, not that I could blame her. I'm really good at screwing stuff up that way.  
After Jenna, I gave up on finding a physical substitute and tried other things. For a while, I buried myself in the X files, shutting out the rest of the world, but the lack of sleep started to get to me eventually and Skinner made me take a day off to rest. That's when I started dreaming about her. Dreams that scared me not because they were terrifying, but because what I dreamed was what I wanted, and I couldn't have that. So many nights I woke up and had to take a cold shower, afraid of what I wanted to have.  
My life became a mess without Scully there to ground me. My apartment became even more of a dump, my reports were consistently unfounded and unorganized, and I was late to practically everything.  
One day, I went out running and I guess I has a sort of epiphany. I'm in love and there's absolutely nothing I can do to stop it. It all got clear from there. I went straight home and cleaned up my apartment, cleaned myself up and got into my car.. I drove mindlessly, going a way I'd driven a thousand times before. I parked an got into the elevator, confident and ready to grovel for her forgiveness. The doors opened and I walked up to her front door. I hesitated for just a moment and that's when I heard it.  
"Mmmmmm...Drew...Ohhh..." She laughed and it sounded like bells and my life collapsed before my eyes.  
You idiot!! My mind screamed at me. How could you just assume she'd waited for you? After what you did to her you thought she'd be holding out for you to come crawling back I to her doorstep? I slammed my fist into the elevator wall. It was all my fault, for being such a jerk, for blowing off a good thing, but mostly for waiting seven months to figure out how stupid I was. It was too late for me.  
  
Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today  
It's been seven months and counting   
You've moved on  
I still feel exactly the same.  
It's just everywhere I go,  
The buildings know your name  
Like photographs and memories of love  
Steel and granite reminders  
The city calls your name and I can't move on  
  
Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me  
  
Am I all alone in the universe?  
There's no love on these streets  
I have given mine away to a world  
That didn't want it anyway  
So this is my new freedom  
Funny, I don't remember being chained  
But nothing seems to make sense anymore  
Without you, I'm always twenty minutes late  
  
Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me  
  
And time goes by so slowly  
The nights are cold and lonely  
I shouldn't be holding on  
But I'm still holding on for you  
  
Here I go again  
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today  
But I'm standing at your doorway  
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on  
  
Ever since you've been gone   
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me  
  
-"The Lover After Me"  
Savage Garden  
Music and lyrics by Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones  
  
  
x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~   
  
Feedback please!!!! I thrive on it!! Besides, if you want a sequel, you'd better ask for it nicely!! I'm still deciding, but it probably needs one.  
  
  
"So don't you be late, I see the beacon light and it's on! So strap on your jammie pie furl it up, cuz I'm gone"  
Beacon light by Ween  
  
Visit my website, por favor!  
http://www.geocities.com/xfdramababe  
  
you can read some of my other fic there and my other random x files things!  



	2. Forgetting

Forgetting  
By Drama  
Categories: MSR, Angst, Scully/other, Scully POV  
Disclaimer: not mine, Not mine, Not mine... *sigh* my life is pitiful, please don't sue me, I'm broke as it is.. $@#*%&! 45$ *Nsync tickets!  
Author's Notes: Well, you asked for it! Here's part 2 of The lover after me. If you haven't read the first part, please email me at Xfdramababe@bolt.com and I will happily send it to you, as long as you promise to give me feedback!! Please send feedback or this puppy will be left off where it stands!!! Mwa hahahaha!! Okay, so I'm not really that mean, but, c'mon, feedback please! =)  
Here's what you've been waiting for:  
  
Forgetting   
By drama  
  
  
  
Mulder may be able to forget all about it, but I can't.  
  
He came to my apartment with some Italian food and a case file, not an uncommon event in itself. I'm not sure exactly what did it, but everything just seemed right at the time. We had abandoned the case and started talking over wine, not shoptalk, just little insignificant things about our lives: school, first jobs, just things that didn't really matter that we'd never really talked about before.  
  
He really listened that night, and spoke truthfully. I don't think I've ever seen anything more alluring in a man. I was a little buzzed from the alcohol, but I knew exactly what I was doing when I kissed him. I guess I surprised myself a little with my boldness. Everything just blurred after my lips touched his. I told him I loved him, and I meant it.  
  
I slept the best I had in years wrapped up in his arms. It was so warm, his skin next t mine, cuddling in the dark. It's one of my favorite memories, and my most painful.  
  
I woke up alone and cold without so much as a note from Mulder when he left.  
  
I was so worried, so scared that he'd just brush it off, pretend it didn't happen and want to leave or try to stay and ignore it. I called him, trying not to sound too desperate. I said we needed to talk, and we did. I tried his cell phone when he didn't answer but it was turned off. Hours passed and he didn't call me, and I got nervous, so I did hat I always do when I'm nervous about Mulder: I cleaned my apartment. 3 hours and a bottle of 409 later, my apartment sparkled and my phone had yet to ring.  
  
I tossed and turned all night, trying to get comfortable. I kept getting these images in my head of Mulder telling me how sorry he was, what a mistake we made and how we should just forget about it every time I closed my eyes.  
  
I came into the office the next morning red eyed and angry.  
  
I told him we needed to talk and the look of a deer trapped in a semi's headlights flashed on his face.  
  
He sounded so nonchalant as he dismissed everything that happened between us and I wanted to rip his head off. It was like talking to a stranger. I told him how I felt and fought back the tears stinging in my eyes. If he was going to distance himself from me, he'd might as well get the full job. I closed myself off, wouldn't let him affect me outwardly, but inside, my heart was a mess.  
  
I went home and cried as I typed my resignation.  
I stayed as far away as possible after I left. My new job as the head of the forensic lab was grueling, but it helped me focus, and forget.  
  
I heard he got a girlfriend, some bimbo named Jenna from the secretarial pool. Big boobs, big hair, little brain: in other words, just his type. What made it worse was the fact that I constantly heard about it from Ella, my assistant, also known as the biggest gossip in the Bureau.  
  
Finding Drew wasn't intentional, more of a chance meeting on a particularly bad day. I felt like I needed to get out after a full ten hour day in the lab, so I went down to The Living room. a cute little coffee shop close to my apartment. I was sitting there, sipping a decaf cappuccino when he came over and sat next to me. Something possessed me to introduce myself, so I did.  
  
I'm Drew" he said, flashing a grin at me. We connected in a way and I needed someone to ground myself with so I agreed to go to dinner with him the following night.  
  
Drew was a good looking guy, not too tall, blonde, and he had gorgeous hazel eyes. Mulder's eyes. I kept on catching myself making comparisons between drew and Mulder and I stopped myself. Drew was not Mulder. Mulder was a jerk who decided I meant nothing to him. Drew was sweet, buying me flowers, calling me constantly. He took me out to lunch when I was having a bad day. At least I knew Drew cared about me. I was reluctant at first to get close to Drew, but I realized that it was time to take my mind off of Mulder. I desperately needed a distraction, and Drew was definitely that.  
  
I remember the first time I woke up with Drew. He was lazily propped up on one elbow, watching me sleep with a drowsy grin on his face.  
  
"Good morning, beautiful." He said, and I wanted to cry.  
  
One Saturday morning, I slept in a little later than usual because drew had the whole morning free to be with me, so we took advantage of the time alone. Drew left at about eleven and shortly thereafter, I took the elevator downstairs to pick up the previous day's mail. As usual, the elevator slowly rambled down the three floors and my eyes were drawn to a new dent in the metal wall.   
  
"Jeez" I said to no one in particular. "wonder how that got there."  
  
The woman standing next to me in the elevator was Annie Ruhland. She lived three doors down from me and I swear, she should work for law enforcement, she does so much surveillance. She knows everything that goes on in the complex.  
  
"Oh, that friend of yours banged his fist on the wall."  
  
"You mean Drew?" I was puzzled, Drew left in a very good mood.  
  
"No, not your boyfriend. This one stopped coming for a while. Tall, dark and brooding, gis nose's kinda big, but real pretty eyes."  
  
No please no not that anything but that  
  
"Didn't he used to be your partner or something?"  
Dammit! "Mulder was here" I swear, just when I start to forget him...  
  
"That's his name! Mulder. Yeah, he was here this morning, coming down the elevator from your floor. I assumed that you and he..."  
  
"I never even knew he was here"  
  
"He was real mad, didn't even see me. He slammed his fist into the wall and left that dent."  
  
Mulder was here this morning. Oh God, Drew stayed in with me this morning and he must have overheard. My heart sank into my chest. I knew I should have been desensitized to Mulder, but something in my heart knew I couldn't forget, no matter how hard I tried.  
  
  
  
Fin part 2  
  
  



	3. Following

The Lover After Me Part 3: Following  
By Drama  
Rating: PG for some mild cussing and cut off words..  
Categories: Angst, m/s UST, Scully/other, teeny bit of H?, Mulder/Scully POV[it trades off]  
Summary: Scully finds out Mulder was in her building and goes after him...  
Disclaimer: haven't we been through this already? They're not mine, dammit!!!! *sniff* leave me in peace to mope about it...  
Notes: Okay, this looks like it's not going to stay a trilogy.. number 4 is already done.. it just needs to be typed and number 5 is inevitable... sorry for drawing this out and torturing you..... I love you, really I do! And I enjoy the death threat feedback, I live off of it!!BG  
Now, the moment you've all been waiting for...  
  
Part 3 Following  
By Drama  
  
The elevator doors opened and I headed for my car, bypassing the mail altogether. I had to see him. Knowing that he came, that he wanted to see me caused all of my repressed emotions to come flooding back. I needed to see him to get the closure I was sure I needed.   
I'm not even sure how I got to his apartment building, I just drove without thinking.  
I got into the elevator, hit the fourth floor button and pressed my cheek against the marred steel wall. Everything had happened so fast. It was like my entire being had changed in a matter of seconds. Somewhere, in the back of my mind I always knew it would catch up with me.  
The doors opened and I stepped out into the hallway. So many memories came from that place, so many things happened in that one little area, so many missed chances and frightening things were attached to that spot.  
I stared at his door, afraid to knock, afraid of what might be inside. The number 42 hung at it's usually awkward angle. I doubt he'll ever get that fixed. It was just like Mulder, awkward and out of place, but right for what it represented. A smile came to my lips for a moment at the thought.  
I knocked on the hard wood and waited. Nothing happened, so I knocked again, harder. Still nothing.  
He wasn't there.  
  
~x~x~x~x~x~x~x  
  
I threw back another shot and closed my eyes as the burning liquid slid down my throat. I counted the empty glasses that danced before my eyes: 1...2...3...4... and sighed.  
"So, what are you trying to forget?"  
The bartender leaned up against the bar.  
"Hmm?"  
"Well, you come in here alone and melancholy, order a bunch of stiff drinks and sigh a lot, I'd say you're trying to forget something...or somebody."  
"I'm in love."  
"Okay, so what's the problem?"  
" I'm a sorry sonovabitch, that's what. I broke her heart, but I didn't know I was in love, or maybe I did, but now I know and she's got somebody else."  
"Tough luck." Said the bartender as he poured me another shot.  
I'm not sure what it is about bars, maybe it's the atmosphere, or the alcohol, or the bartenders themselves, but it makes you just want to pout your soul out to a guy you just met who's been feeding you shots for the past half hour.  
"She's beautiful, ya know. Used to be my best friend but we slept together and it was amazing, might I add, but being together was too dangerous. There are people that want us dead, and being involved would just give us a whole new weakness."  
"That's gotta suck."  
I nodded and swallowed another shot.  
"I convinced myself I didn't love her and I told her we should forget what happened and she left me, and now I realize that I love her but it's too late."  
I flexed my throbbing fist and leaned back.  
'I am one sorry bastard."  
I started to stand up, but I got a head rush so I sat down again. I tried it slower and swaggered into the bathroom. My God, I was drunk.  
  
x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x  
  
I drove for what seemed like hours, stopping in bars all around Georgetown , giving them a description of Mulder, asking if he was there. If I knew Mulder at all, in his position, he'd either be moping out at home, at the gym beating the crap out of a punching bag or getting plastered out of his mind at the nearest bar. Since he wasn't home and the gym said he hadn't signed in, he was probably in some bar, taking shots of whiskey. About the 5th bar I stopped at was a down home kind of place I'd expect to find somewhere in the Midwest, a couple of guys in baseball caps nursing bottles of Coors at the bar, a buxom waitress serving pitchers of beer, a friendly bartender wearing a dress shirt with rolled up sleeves, hell, even a pool table. I approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools.  
"So, what'll it be?"  
"Oh, actually, I'm looking for someone, a... friend of mine. His name is Fox Mulder, he's about six feet tall, dark hair, probably very depressed, with an injured fist..."  
"Oh, that guy. Yeah he's here. Just stepped into the restroom. Can I get you something while you're waiting?"  
"No, that's okay, I'm driving."  
"Poor guy..."  
I looked up at the bartender, who was now washing beer mugs in the sink."  
"What did you say?"  
"I said "Poor guy" I mean, he says he's in love, but his girl's got somebody else now. That's just sad. I feel sorry for the man."  
He says he's in love? No, it couldn't be... could it?  
  
x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~  
  
I opened the bathroom door and had to steady myself against the door frame. A flash of auburn hair caught my eye and I turned towards it.   
There she was, sitting at the bar, talking to the bartender. I couldn't face her now, not after what happened, what I heard... I had to get out without her seeing me so I headed towards the exit.  
  
x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~  
  
Thunk!   
"Oh sh--"  
I spun towards the noise and rushed over to see what happened.   
Mulder lay sprawled across the floor, clutching his head.  
'Are you okay?" I asked, but he didn't answer me. I immediately slipped into doctor mode. I knelt down and pried his hand off his forehead. He had a little gash above his eyebrow and it would probably get a little bump, but he seemed otherwise okay. I checked his eyes and they were properly dialated, no concussion either. He stared up at me with wide eyes when I finished me ministrations.  
  
x~x~x~x~x~x~  
  
I was so screwed. I had the distinct feeling that Scully was about to kick the crap out of me, so I headed for the door again. Damn my luck, she followed me, not that I was hard to catch, considering I was drunk and the floor kept on moving from beneath my feet.  
"Where do you think you're going?"  
  
x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~x~  
  
"I gotta go home." He started to pull away, so I held his arm tighter.  
"Mulder, you live halfway across town and you're in no condition to drive yourself anywhere."  
I wrestled his keys out of his hand.  
"C'mon, Mulder, you can stay at my place until you get sober. It's closer."  
"Ohh.. you promise?" he flashed a drunken leer at me and I couldn't help smiling. I had nearly forgotten how endearing his playfulness was.  
"Sure, Mulder, anything you say."  
I threw his arm around my shoulder and lugged him out the door and into my car while he attempted to walk.  
"You're not going to be sick, are you?"  
"Naw, I'm gonna be jus' fine."  
Halfway through the car trip, Mulder started giggling uncontrollably for no apparent reason, except that he was incredibly drunk. By the time we got to my apartment, it was pouring rain and Mulder was still giggling. We attempted running to the building, but Mulder kept on leaning dangerously to the left, so we were soaked by the time we got into the building. Mulder continued his damp giggles. I considered asking him why, but something told me I didn't want to know.  
I got him into my apartment and peeled off my soaked jacket. Mulder's twittering had finally subsided and was replaced by shivering.   
"C'mon, Mulder, let's get you out of those wet clothes."  
I tugged at his wet jacket.  
"ooh... that sounds like fun, Scully."  
I succeeded in removing his coat and started pulling up his T-shirt. He grabbed my wrist gently and brought it up to his lips, softly kissing the palm of my hand. I ignored the shiver that ran through my body.  
"Ya know, Scully, I love you."  
"Mulder, please don't" I pleaded  
"I really do."  
He kissed my wrist where my pulse was beating rapidly. I couldn't let him hurt me again, not like this, so I wrenched my hand from his grasp.  
"Don't say what you don't mean, Mulder, even if you're drunk. I'm not about to let you do that to me again. Just take off your clothes, you're going to freeze if you don't."  
His face fell as I spoke. He nodded somberly and removed everything except for his black silk boxers. I grabbed a pair of Drew's boxers from my bedroom and handed them to Mulder.  
"Go change into these."  
He came out of the bathroom wearing Drew's boxers and handed me his wet ones. He practically collapsed on the couch and I threw a blanket over him. It was going to be very interesting when he woke up.  
  
~ fin ~  
  
okay, so this is turning out to be a pretty long series... I have 5 total "chapters" and yes, it does end in an MSR, I promise! Okay, you can hope to see the last two parts in a day or two.. as fast as I can get them typed, basically... I'm glad you guys like it and I promise it won't be left hanging like this for more than a day or two. Thanks for all the feedback, keep it coming, please!  
-Drama xfdramababe@bolt.com  
  
come see my site:  
http://www.geocities.com/xfdramababe  
  
  



	4. Breaking

The Lover After Me Part 4: Breaking  
By Drama  
Category: Scully/other, Angst, Story, Drew's POV  
Rating: PG-nothing I wouldn't show my mom  
Disclaimer: Aha! I finally have something that's mine!! Drew is all mine and nobody else can have him!! Unless of course you want to use him in a fic and ask me very nicely... nothing else is mine *sigh* oh yeah, I own Drew's boxers too... hehe don't sue me..thanX!  
Summary: Drew goes to pick up Scully for their date, angst insues  
Notes from moi: okay, this is part four, part 5[the last one] is on the way, really it is! If you didn't read the top, this is from Drew's POV, I figures I should toggle around with the POVs and ended up with this puppy. I like Drew quite a bit, but for the purposes of this story, he and Scully just don't belong together. Hope you enjoy part 4!  
  
Breaking  
By Drama  
  
Dana's a beautiful person. At first, I guess she seemed a little uptight, not that she didn't have a good reason to be closed off. That bastard ex-partner did some pretty good damage on her heart. It took me a long time to get her to really open up again.  
  
I came over on Saturday morning to pick up Dana for our date. We were going out for Japanese, then to an independent film festival downtown. Maybe I should have called first, but it wasn't like Dana would be running late. She was almost never late for a date before, why should she be now?  
  
I knocked on the door and Dana answered wearing a tank top and gym shorts, her hair wavy and tangled .  
  
"Drew!" her eyes were as big as saucers and a look of shock crossed her face. I embraced her and gave her a quick kiss, then pulled back and looked at her again.   
  
"How come you're not dressed?"  
  
"What are you talking about, Drew?" Boy, she must have been out of it.  
  
"We have a date, remember? Dinner at Ishitari, then we're seeing "My Mother Dreams Of Satan's Disciples In New York" at the AVO."  
  
"Oh my God, I completely forgot about it."  
  
"That's okay, sweetie, I'll wait while you get dressed." She glanced uneasily over her shoulder.  
  
"I think I'll have to cancel on you, Drew, sorry." A distinctly male goran came from beyond Dana. I forced myself not to be suspicious. Maybe it was her brother... I mean, sure, he's on a boat in the Gulf, but...  
  
An odd look crossed her face, one I'd never seen before. Guilt, maybe? No, I can't be distrustful like that... not yet, anyways.  
  
Not until he emerged from the bedroom wearing only a pair of boxers that looked suspiciously like mine.  
  
Dana spun to see what I was looking at, then turned back to me.  
  
"This isn't what it looks like, Drew." Her words were frantic and apologetic.  
  
"Oh really? Well then what it is?"  
  
"Look, he was drunk and I brought him here to sober up. Nothing happened.  
  
"He walked into full view and I started to recognize him. I'd seen him before, in pictures with Dana, ones stuffed in a box in her closet. It was him, her bastard ex-partner standing in the middle of Dana's living room wearing _my_ boxers! Wonderful!  
  
"What's he doing here?"  
  
"Look, I told you, I found him at a bar, plastered, and I couldn't let him drive, so I brought him here."  
  
"So let me get this straight" I could feel my anger building. "You just happened to come across your ex-partner, drunk out of his mind in a bar even though you don't drink, brought him back to your place even though you haven't so much as spoken to him in seven months and he was a complete jerk to you in the first place, plus you forgo about our date?"  
  
"Drew-Please, the neighbors will hear!" She ushered me inside and closed the door.   
  
He massaged his temples and walked towards the bathroom, not looking up.  
  
"Hey, Scully, where's the aspirin?"  
  
"In the bathroom, top shelf." The bastard disappeared into the next room.   
  
I tried really hard not to yell outright.   
  
"Oh, gee, well excuse me! I have this jealous streak that tends to come out when I go to pick up my girlfriend for a date and she's wearing her pajamas and her ex-partner is traipsing around her apartment in my underwear!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but it was raining and all his clothes were soaked. It was the only dry piece of clothing I had that would fit him." She was getting more and more defensive and the argument was getting nowhere.  
  
"I'm not going to stand here and argue with you. I trust you, Dana, but I can't help the feeling that you're leaving something out. It doesn't all fit. I just want a straight story."  
  
She sat down in the middle of her couch and I sat in an armchair.  
  
"I was going to get the mail and Annie mentioned she saw him here this morning." Dana leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I'm not sure what it was, the need for closure or.. I don't know, but I went looking for him, figuring he was probably somewhere nearby, out getting plastered. I found him in a bar, barely able to walk, so I brought him here since I didn't want to risk him vomiting in my car during the 45 minute drive to his place, plus his car was still at the bar. It was raining and we both got soaked by the time we got into the building. I gave him your boxers because his clothes here soaked, then he passes out on my couch. That's it."  
  
She went looking for him.  
  
"You went looking for him?"  
  
She ran her fingers through her auburn tresses.  
  
"It was just something I had to do, I can't explain it, I just needed to see him, the get that closure."  
  
My chest constricted as I started to understand. This conversation was never about missing our date, or even having another man in her apartment, it went much deeper than that.  
  
"Tell me you feel nothing for him."  
  
She sat up straight. "What?"  
  
"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you have no feelings for him, that if he left this instant you wouldn't think twice about letting him go. Tell me that nothing could ever happen between you. Tell me that you could honestly never think about him again after today."  
  
"Drew-I- You can't expect me to answer that, it's not fair."  
  
Little by little, her words ripped up my heart. I knew what I had to do.  
  
"Dana, I love you, I hope you know that. But if you can't love me back wholeheartedly, then this is not going to work. I'm sorry, Dana."  
  
I stood up to go.  
  
"Drew-please..." I steeled myself against her pleas and turned towards the door.  
  
"Don't make it harder than it already is. If you can honestly tell me there is nothing more in your heart for him, call me."  
  
I went out the door without looking back and left behind the woman I loved. I should have known from the start.   
  
She likes brunettes. Damn.  
  
~ fin ~  
  
Okay, so part five should be typed up in a day or two.. yes, it's shippy. Oh, and I would like to thank my bestest best friend, Niki[aka Xfnavybrat for you bolters] for that last line. She gave it to me and told me I had to put it in this story, so I did.   
  
http://www.geocities.com/xfdramababe {guess what it is!}  
  
-Drama  



	5. El Punto Final (the final period)

The Lover After Me Part 5: El Punto Final  
By Drama  
Category: Scully/other, Angst, Story, Scully POV  
Rating: PG-13 for some kissing and....  
Disclaimer: Drew's Mine! Everything else that you recognize probably isn't mine. I'm not getting paid for this... Don't sue me!  
Summary: Scully picks up the pieces in her relationships and realizes her priorities  
Notes from moi: well, this is it... the end of my series... sad, isn't it? don't worry, Niki, this one's a definite shipper friendly part! The title is El punto Final partly for the fact that I couldn't come up with a good name for the final part and partly just because on my written copy of part 5, I wrote at the end "el punto Final" and pointed to the last period on the page. In case you don't know spanish, el punto final translates to "the final point" or "the final period". That's it...  
  
El Punto Final  
By drama  
I stood there and watched the door close behind him. He left. He left and I couldn't do anything about it, because everything he said was true in some context. No matter how much I denied it, Mulder still meant something to me. I just didn't know what.  
  
I walked to the spare room and looked inside. The cause of all my trouble was sprawled out on the bed, sleeping like a cat.  
  
I needed to talk to someone so I picked up the phone and dialed the numbers by heart.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hi, Mom, it's me."  
  
"Dana! It's so nice to hear your voice! What's wrong, honey?"  
  
"Nothing mom, I just-"  
  
"Don't give me that, Dana Katherine, I know when something's wrong with my baby girl. Now, tell me what's wrong, Dana."  
  
I sat down cross-legged on the couch.  
  
"Everything." There was so much to explain.  
  
"Oh dear, is it Drew?"  
  
"Part of it. God, it's so complicated."  
  
"Why don't you start from the beginning then."  
  
I took a deep breath and began.  
  
"I was going down to get the mail this morning..." I related the entire chain of events from start up until that moment. When I finished there was a long pause at the other end of the line. She was thinking.  
  
"So, Fox is still in your apartment?"  
  
"Yeah, he's sleeping in the spare room."  
  
"Dana, how _do_ you feel about Fox?"  
  
I uncrossed my legs and let myself sink into the plush cushions.  
  
"That's just the problem, Mom. I don't know. I mean, I thought that I had desensitized myself to him, but now, I see him again and I don't know anymore. Drew was my anchor to rationalism, but now he's gone and I don't know how to face Mulder alone."  
  
"You know, he still comes to see me, Dana."  
  
"He what?"  
  
"You heard me. Ever since you two ended your partnership, he's still been calling me for advice or comfort, or if he just needs someone to talk to. He doesn't have anyone to talk to since his mother's gone. Not that he was very close to her while she was alive. He told me not to tell you, but I think you need to know that he still loves you, Dana."  
  
I was stunned at what she said. He still loves me. God, I never even thought he loved me in the first place, not after what happened. I could hardly believe it. If he loved me, how could he do that to me?  
  
"Dana?" My mother's voice brought me out of my thoughts.  
  
"He-he told you that?"  
  
Maybe not in those exact same words, but yes, he said he still loves you."  
  
My eyes wandered towards the room where Mulder was sleeping.  
  
"But what about- if he loved me, then why did he-."  
  
"Maybe you should ask him yourself, Dear."  
  
"yeah, maybe."  
  
"You know, Dana, I always knew Drew wasn't right for you."  
  
"then why didn't you tell me?"  
  
There was a pause.  
  
"I thought you knew."  
  
"Maybe I did. Thanks, Mom."  
  
"Anytime, dear. Tell me what happens, will you?"  
  
I told her I would and we said goodbye. I put the phone back into its charger and leaned back into the cushions.   
  
I was scared, of my own feelings, of what Mulder would de, of what _I_ would do. Part of me desperately needed to talk to him, to find out the truth, but another part of me was too scared to face him.  
  
MY dilemma, however, was solved for me when Mulder came walking into my living room fully clothed. He strode past me, barely acknowledging my presence.  
  
"thank you for your help, Scully." He mumbled as he got to the door, fumbling with the locks.  
  
"Wait." I don't know why I said it, but I did and he spun around, expectantly perhaps.  
  
"Mulder-I-" I stammered, trying to think of something to make him stay.  
  
"Can-can we just talk?"  
  
"Let's just make this easier on both of us and just let me go."  
  
"Please, I need some closure on this-on us. I just need to know some things."  
  
His expression hardened.  
  
"Look, Scully, you were the one who severed all contact with me, you were the one that left."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry." I shot back sarcastically. "But you expected me to just go on my everyday business with someone who though our love was a mistake."  
  
He flinched at my words. I'd stuck a chord with him.  
  
"I never thought that, Scully."  
  
"Then why did you say it?"  
  
"I only did it for you." His voice was low and reassuring. "That morning, I was lying there, watching you sleep, and I got so scared. My mind was going like crazy and all I could think of was the danger. Being together was a whole new weakness we couldn't afford. They could use it against us and we could get hurt. You could get hurt. I had to end it before it went any further, so I left. You have no idea how hard to was to walk out of here."  
  
My heart was doing flip-flops. He _loves_ me! I could see it in his eyes. But it didn't all add up yet.  
  
"You could have told me why, I would have understood."  
  
He sat down in an armchair.  
  
"I couldn't. I had to make you hate me, to never want to see me again. It was bad enough that I had to live through the pain of knowing that I loved you and I could do nothing about it. I at least had to give you a reason for not wanting to be with me. If I didn't, I knew that tension would be too great. We'd slip and get caught. It was too much danger to you."  
  
"Why did you come then, why now?"  
  
He shook his head.  
  
"I don't know, I hit a wall, you could say. I realized that all this was bull and I need you with me, so I came to see you. But Then I heard you and... Drew and I left. I'm sorry for denting your elevator and complicating your life. I hope you and Drew and happy together."  
  
He got up and headed towards the door again.  
  
He didn't know.   
  
"he left me." Mulder stopped and turned around.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Drew left me. He saw you, and he said if I couldn't tell him I had no feelings for you, he would walk out of my life. I couldn't tell him that."  
  
Mulder's face brightened for an instant at my words. I moved to him and took his hand in mine. Slowly, I raised it to my lips, mimicking his earlier actions, and kissed his palm, then his wrist. I could feel his pulse beating beneath my mouth. I drew back and entwined my fingers with his.  
  
"Whatever danger there is, we face it together."  
  
He squeezed my hands and nodded.  
  
"I won't leave this time, I promise."  
  
My lips curved into a smile and I nodded. He leaned down and kissed me, slowly and gently, and I untangled me hands and wrapped my arms around him, savoring the feel of his body against mine, our two hearts beating as one.  
  
X~X  
  
I woke with a smile on my face and in my heart. Mulder's arm was around my waist, our legs intertwined. I leaned into his embrace and felt him kiss my shoulder. I untangled my legs and turned in his arms to face him. He was sleepy-eyed and he had a serious case of bedhead. He smiled sleepily at me and kissed me softly on the lips.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" He said as he pulled back, smiling still.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
He pulled me a little closer and kissed the tip of my nose.  
  
"I mean this.. us.. you." I smiled at him as I watched with watery eyes.  
  
"Yeah it is."  
  
I buried my face I his neck and for the first time in a very, very long time, I cried out of pure happiness.  
  
~ fin ~  



End file.
